Where it happened: At home
My parents were going to be out of town on a business trip so asked my 23 yr old cousin to stay with me while they were out of town. Otherwise I would have to stay with my grandmother and have a long city bus ride everyday. There was going to be a skating party the two weeks that my parents were going to be gone and I really wanted to go. I asked my mom and she said that I could go and she sould tell my cousin Ray that it was ok for me to go and to have him drive me.
So my cousin arrived to take care of me, he was going to be sleeping in my parents room since they were going to be away. One night he brought his girlfriend over, and I woke up and went to get a drink of water, when I walked through the living room they were having sex. I was really embarrassed and went back to my room really fast. The next day was the skating party, so my cousin took me there, then came to pick me up. A boy that I really liked had skated with me all night, and he waited outside with me while I waited on my cousin to pick me up. When my cousin came, Roger (the boy that I liked) kissed me, and opened to car door. He said “call me” and I said I would. We drove away and my cousin asked if that was my boyfriend and I said no, he is just a boy I like, and we skated together. My cousin Ray said “that looked like a boyfriend kiss”
Then when we got home I was really feeling tired, so I took a shower and got ready for bed. I put on a long T-shirt, and some panties. I as brushung my teeth and my cousin walks in and says, “o what else have you and your boyfriend done?” I tell him nothing that he was not my boyfriend, he just kissed me.
My cousin walks over and starts kinda playing with my long hair, he said “Guys really like long hair on girls”. I finished brushing my teeth and I rinse out my toothbrush. My cousin says “are you ready for bed?” and I say yes, and I go get in my bed. My cousin walks over and sits on my bed, and asks if I want a bedtime story, I tell him no I’m not a baby. so he pulls the blankets up and leaves the room. and I go to sleep.
I wake up a little later and my cousin is sitting on my bed and he is rubbing my boobs, he sees that I am awake and he says “if you are going to have a boyfriend there are some things you should know.” I pushed his hand off of me and I say I don’t have a boyfriend. He sits a glass down on my bedside table and says” well he kissed you and told you to call him.” Then he says “does he kiss you like this?” and puts his mouth on mine and tries to put his tounge in there. I tried to push him away but I can’t. then he says “here I want you to try something,” and he picks up his glass. He says “it is good, it tastes like cinnomon candy”. I tasted it and it burned, He says do you like it. I tell him it tasted good. “Then he says to you want to try something else? I’ll let you drink anything it will be our secret.” So I say ok and he goes and gets a bottle of stuff, and says this one you will like it tastes sweet. and he poured it into a glass. I drank some, I started feeling really warm adn my head was kinda swimmy. my cousin kept talking to me. then he kinda fell asleep. I fell asleep too. The next day was a Saturday and there was not school. I woke up and my cousin was gone. I get up too and brush my teeth,
My cousin comes in my room and says he made breakfast but thinks we should talk first. he says “I know you saw me and my girlfriend the other night. That is normal nothing to be embarrassed about” that He thinks we should talk about boys. I tell him mom has already talked to me about boys, and he says “but she is a girl, you should talk about boys from a boy.” So he pulls me over to the bed and says “do you remember last night when I touched your boob?” and I got nervous and I said yes. he says that is what boyfriends do to thier girlfriends. Then he says girlfriends touch thier boyfriend thing. and asked if I had ever touched my boyfriends thing. I tell him no and that I don’t have a boyfriend. He says I think that boy is your boyfriend then says. Have you ever seen a real one? My mouth got really dry and I got scared. He says I’ll show you mine. and he takes off his sweat pants. he does not have any underwear on. His thing was hanging down, it looked really big. then he takes my hand and says “touch it” and puts my hand on it. He says I’ll show you everything, but you can’t tell, just like the stuff I let you drink last night, itis our secret. He tells me to rub my hand up and don’t a little, when I did it kinda jumped a little and started to stick out. He made a noise and say you are good at that”, Then he says lay down on the bed. so I get on the bed and he gets up on the bed too and sits on top of me kinda. he is all naked and his thing is almost in my face. Then he kisses me again, adn I could taste the stuff like what I drank that night, I pushed at his chest and he grabs both of my wrist in his hand and pushes then down on the bed over my head. and then with is other hand he pulls off my panties then sits on me again. He says let me show you how to be with your boyfriend. I am really kinda scared and I started crying and trying to get my hands loose, but he just held them tighter. he pushes up my T-shirt and started sucking on my boobs, I am crying like crazy. then I felt him push his knee between my knees and he put his other hand down there and is rubbing his fingers around and poking them in. It ws hurtung so bad. I was squirming around trying to get away. then he started rubbing his thing up and down my leg and on my stomach. He told me to hold still and he tried to put his thing in me, but it wouldn’t go. I started screaming and crying at him to let me up that I wanted to stop but he wouldn’t. He kept saying “this is what girls and boys do” he pulled my t shirt all the way off really fast then held my arms down again. Then he put one hand over my mouth and pushed his thing into me. It felt like it was tearing me. then he pulled it out all the way. but quickly put it back in. then he started moving it up and down slow at first and then he got faster. It was hurting so bad, and a was crying, and saying stop. he put his mouth my my ear and says ” Shhhh” I could smell the drink he had. he let go of my arms but then grabs my waist and keeps shoving his thing into me, I was hurtung so much. I kept pushing againt his chest, but he just grabbed me tighter. It seemed to go on forever, and then he finally groaned really loud and he stopped. then he laid down beside me and let go of me. My legs were wobbely and I was really hurtung down there. I went into the bathroom and saw blood and sticky stuff on my legs. I washed it off and then left the house as fast as I could. I spent the whole day riding the bus around town because I was afraid to go home. It started getting dark, so I knew I had no choice so I went home. My cousin asked where I had been, and I said no where, he said “You went to go see your boyfriend, Did you show him what showed you?” I said
No. because I don’t have a boyfriend” So then I went upstairs to my room and locked the door, and went to sleep. I guess he knew where the key was because he came in and got into bed with me. He woke me up rubbing his fingers on me down there. and I tried to get out of bed. he grabbed me and then he said “Don’t be a bad girl, I’ll tell your mother that you have been drinking and running around town.” he took the belt from his robe and tied my arms together and then to the bedframe. He said “there is still a lot to know about boys and started kissing me, I immediately started crying and telling him that he hurt me, he said “It always hurts the first time.” and keeps kissing me. he said now your boyfriend won’t hurt you and you can make it good for him.” He said “My girlfriend knows what to do and I will teach you too.” and he keeps rubbing his fingers in me, it really hurts because I am still so sore. I am still crying and begging him to please stop because it hurts. He says this will make it better, I was trying to keep my legs crossed and he pushed my knees apart and got between them. He put his mouth on me down there and started to lick me. Then he started pulling on his thing and poking his fingers in me. After awhile he said “relax don’t cry” and pulled a tube of something from his robe pocket and put some on his thing and on his fingers and started rubbing it around it felt warm and got hot and he tried to put his thing in me again and it wouldn’t go in at first, He grabbed be by the hips and pushed really hard, I screamed bloody murder when he pushed in it felt like it was all the way in, I was crying “please stop” he said “It is not all the way in yet.” and pushed harder. then I felt something move in me, like something ripped, and he pushed harder. He started moving in and out really fast and was doing it hard it felt like he was hitting the bottom of my stomach. It was really hurting bad, and I kept crying. He said that my Himan was broekn now and that was good.” It was still hurtung but he made the noise again and then stopped. He laid down beside me and went to sleep. I tried to get my hands untied but I couldn’t. I cried until I fell asleep.
I woke up and my cousin had woke up too. He was touching me again, down there with his fingers, I was really sore and it hurt when he was not touching me. I said stop it hurts, and it hurts inside too. said to me. “Are hungry?” I said yes and he said “I’ll take you to McDonalds” . He told me to take a shower, there was blood on me again. He took me to McDonalds, and says it’s our secret when we talked about. if you tell I tell them you drank and left the house without permission.” He made me do that stuff for every night. I could not wear panties because it hurt to wear them so I just wore my skirts. And at christmas, we went to visit him, but I asked if I could sleep with my mom, cause I didn’t want to sleep in the living room.